Whatever We Think Matters…

A the universe superimposed over a human face

Dear Reader!

IT DOESN’T MATTER. Whatever you think matters–doesn’t. Follow this rule, and it will add decades to your life. It does not matter if you are late, or early; if you are here, or if you are there; if you said it, or did not say it; if you were clever, or if you were stupid; if you are having a bad hair day, or a no hair day; if your boss looks at you cockeyed; if your girlfriend or boyfriend looks at you cockeyed; if you are cockeyed; if you don’t get that promotion, or prize, or house, or if you do. It doesn’t matter. (Rule 1) ~ ROGER ROSENBLATT, Rules For Aging

Okay, I am just gonna fess up right now! Since my very first memory of myself, I have been neck-deep in my awareness, my feelings, and my reactions.

I take things seriously. I care deeply. I feel things passionately. I believe intensely.

And to what end?!

Maybe I treated my body like a temple and I got chronic illnesses anyway…

Maybe I invested almost two decades in a friendship and she just tossed it away like a Dixie cup anyway…

Maybe I handed the best parts of me over to him and he love bombed, devalued and discarded me anyway…

Maybe I was qualified for that position and they gave the opportunity to someone less qualified anyway…

Maybe I am really a beautiful butterfly having a really bad dream…

Maybe all that happened and more over the years, but here I sit still,  living and writing this post.

Oh, how I have raged against the shock, the pain, the disappointment, the harsh realities. And, oh, how I have plotted to be good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, enough…

But I am glad to say that I am over and done with all that now.

I wish I could say that this change in my way to be is solely the result of my becoming wiser from experience and better with age. There is some of that to be sure.

BUT, honestly, I am absolutely and positively bone weary from the futile melodrama of worry and the delusion of control.

I’m not mad, I’m not sad, I’m just done.

Yes, I still believe in doing my best, being my best, living by my professed values, and not settling for any nonsense… But I have a more serene, muted perspective now.

I have finally embraced with my whole heart a very hard truth: Life is not concerned with me — or you. Yes, you too. (Please, do not shoot me.) She just goes merrily, merrily on her way doing whatever the hell she feels like doing whenever and however she likes, regardless of how much it pains us.

And when most things are considered side by side with the vastness of our Universe and the certainty of our oblivion, what is the point of being so furious, so grieved, and so frantic?!

So lately, when Life is insensitive, narcissistic, downright stupid, and completely insane as she is often guaranteed to be, I stop and remind myself: It does not matter.

And almost instantly,  my panties get untwisted, my mind goes still, my racing galloping heart slows to a trot, and my sweaty armpits begin to feel a cool breeze…

Call to action: What about you? Are you still in the ring, getting boxed around and knocked down by Life? Or, have you discovered a way to peacefully co-exist with her, ringside?

6 thoughts on “Whatever We Think Matters…

  1. Your post this week is a healthy way to view and take life on in these uncertain times. It makes me think of a quote you turned me on to long ago. “All that we are arises from our thoughts, with our thoughts we make our world” ~ The Buddha

  2. This post reminds me of a quote that I saw once, it goes like this: “Life is a bitch and then you die.” So yes, I came to the conclusion a long time ago that a lot really does not matter. The motto that I live by now is to take things one day at a time. This life will always throw us curve balls of disappointments, sickness, and heartaches. It is how we handle them that is important. Even though it doesn’t matter, the reality is that it does matter how we as individuals process these things.

    1. Amen, Leslie. I like when you said, “Even though it doesn’t matter, the reality is that it does matter how we as individuals process things.” I couldn’t agree more, which is why I still do my best, be my best, live my professed values, and refuse to settle for any nonsense. I just don’t let Life’s shenanigans knock me down to the mat.

  3. “Life is insensitive, narcissistic, downright stupid, and completely insane,” but I don’t have to be! In every possible relationship I can choose consistently to be sensitive, empathetic, and aware. Then act intelligently in accordance with my values. This is what having integrity means to me. It is my one true freedom. This freedom matters a lot to me.

    1. Exactly! I would never let the insensitivity, narcissism, stupidity, or insanity of life interrupt my commitment to higher values. I have just gained a more serene and muted response to Life and her shenanigans. It sounds like you have too.

      Thank you for adding to the conversation!

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