When a Woman Wants to Leave…

open bird cage with birds leaving

Dear Reader!

Good art starts a lively conversation in your heart and/or in your head.

The French film Leaving (2009) directed by Catherine Corsini and starring Kristin Scott Thomas is good art if the comments on Netflix are any indication.

On Netflix, this film got viewers more hot and bothered than Suzanne, our heroine, was over Ivan, her Latin lover. And that, my dear reader, is quite a feat as Suzanne was both deliriously mad and deliciously hot and bothered over Ivan.

So let us have a chat about Leaving culled from the rich commentary on Netflix. Because there is so many subtle layers to this film, it will be difficult, but I will try to be brief.

Why would a well-do woman leave her husband to be with the hired help?

Apparently, many of the viewers are snobs. Who knew?! But hear ye: A palatial cage is still a cage. And the human desire to feel fully alive can be a powerful one, especially if your husband is…

How could she do this to a husband who loved her?

Disparaging your aspirations openly in front of the “hired help;” dismissing your aspirations in front of your kids and your mutual friends; forbidding you to have your own feelings; locking you in your room; blacklisting you so you could not support yourself; raping you—someone, anyone, how is this love?

He couldn’t stand to lose, so he…

Whatever is she going to talk to the hired help about?

Snobbery, again! It is ridiculous to assume that “higher education” naturally implies general intelligence. Conversely, being the “hired help” does not mean one is unable to have meaningful conversations or is uneducated.

And I have a question: What is Suzanne talking to her boorish, disrespectful, abusive husband about?! What?!

There is no way a well-to-do woman would throw away a 20-year marriage and her “easy” life for┬ápoverty with the “hired help.”

Mm, she might if she was married to an abusive, controlling husband and finally had enough!

Clearly, for Suzanne the grand adornments of her upper class cage were no longer enticing.

And why do so many of us believe that feeling deader than King Tut inside but being financial secure is a worthier choice than choosing love or the desire to feel fully alive?!

Furthermore, who said anything about poverty?! She was willing return to the work force…

Bottom line

This is a wonderful film about the internal incitements that can drive us to behave in ways that are as surprising to ourselves as they are to others.

The director did a great job of drawing the viewer into Suzanne’s “madness” by never explicitly revealing Suzanne’s why. Like Suzanne said, “I didn’t expect to fall in love. It just hit me.”

It just hit us too. It didn’t make sense to her. Maybe, it doesn’t make sense to us…

As for the ending, which is also the beginning, of the film, it will have a visceral effect on anyone with a pulse or a heart.

Call to action: Do you understand the desperate drive to feel alive? Have you ever gone “mad” for love?

Other film posts: Remembrance: Deep, Meaningful, True; Fall in Love, the 11th Commandment; and Do You Want to Live Forever?

4 thoughts on “When a Woman Wants to Leave…

  1. Life here on earth is very short and so many of us go through it without finding love. I strongly believe that no one should stay in a marriage where you are constantly being controlled and make to feel as if you are worthless.

    Her husband treated her as if she was his property. He was controlling and showed her no love at all. She was right to leave when she found real love. I only wish that she had take an opportunity to empty out his bank account before she told him she was leaving.

    1. When I was younger and very stupid, I had a very black and white approach to infidelity: NO! I still do NOT condone cheating as way of conducting yourself while in a committed relationship. But having lived a bit, I know now that every infidelity is NOT the same, and I know now that there are certainly shades of gray to life and the shitty circumstances life can hand you. Here’s the thing: Suzanne was human. She cheated. She was honest was with her husband very early on, rather dragging it out (this is how you own up to your infidelity and leave the person with as much dignity as you can). Her husband was an hateful, controlling, evil cad! FACT: Life is too short not to feel alive in as many moments as we can.

  2. The human heart knows no bounds, as some things are unexplainable. The important thing is to be true to yourself. It is so hard these days for two people to get together, so nothing should shock or surprise.

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