Everything May Be about Color, but Everything Is Not Black or White

Black people, please don’t use frivolous “racism cards” — it undermines the goal of the collective and it makes us look silly

Does a White Person have to like all Black People in order to prove they’re not a racist? Let me answer that question for you: No.

Recently, I watched the 2014 movie Black or White. It was inspired by real-life events of the movie’s director Mike Binder. Is it a perfect movie? Probably not. But, ultimately, it’s better than perfect. It’s a truthful, intelligent movie about the confusion and disorderliness of race relations in the United States. 

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Let me introduce you to the key characters in the movie:

• Elliot Anderson (Kevin Costner) is a heartbroken father and husband who has lost both his teenage daughter and his beloved wife. He’s Eloise’s maternal White grandfather.
• Grandma Wee-wee/Rowena Jeffers (Octavia Spencer) is the delusional and ever hopeful mother of Reggie. She’s Eloise’s paternal Black grandmother.
• Reggie is the arseclown who planted his sperm willy nilly in Elliot’s 17-year old daughter. He’s Eloise’s “father.”
• Jeremiah Jeffers (Anthony Mackie) is an intelligent and successful attorney. He’s Grandma Wee Wee’s brother and, much to his displeasure, uncle to Reggie. 
• Eloise is the 7-year-old, biracial granddaughter of Elliot and Grandma Wee Wee.  

This is a human story about loss and grief; grandparents who love their granddaughter; and a mother’s refusal to give up on her son even though he breaks her heart every time.

Eventually, Elliot, Grandma Wee Wee, and Jeremiah end up in court, fighting for full custody of Eloise. And it’s the pivotal courtroom scene, towards the end of the movie, that provides us with a truthful lesson in race relations.

The question that should NOT have been asked

By the time we get to the pivotal courtroom scene, we know there are no villains here, except maybe one. What we have are imperfect Black and White people who are struggling with life but who are essentially decent human beings. I won’t reveal any plot spoilers, but I do want to share one defining exchange.

Elliot is on the witness stand. Jeremiah holds him accountable for the use of the N-word in a previous interaction with Reggie. As the scene unfolds, I can feel the weight of the air in that courtroom grow heavy. Elliot is in the hot seat. He’s uncomfortable and contrite for his transgressions. But he’s also intolerant of foolishness.

And then, Jeremiah throws out the question:

JEREMIAH: Do you dislike Black People?
ELLIOT: Not all of them. 

The way Elliot answers the question is politically incorrect perfection, so help him, God. A fabulous monologue follows — you’ll have to watch the movie for that. But here’s a snippet for your enlightenment:

It’s not my first thought that counts. It’s my second, third, and fourth thoughts… and the action and interactions I’m having with the person I’m interacting with. ~ Elliot Anderson

Jeremiah, you should be ashamed of yourself. You’re too honest and intelligent an attorney to resort to asking this silly, imprecise question to “win” your case by any means necessary. First, because it was just stupid and unworthy; and, second, because you also despise Reggie for the low-life creep that he is. This can only mean that your question was a cheap, frivolous cry of racism.

You’re a goddamn cliche… You’re a walking validation stamp on all their bullsh*t. ~ Jeremiah Jeffers

Now, Let me answer Jeremiah’s imprecise question

Frankly, I’m inhaling and exhaling deeply and rolling my eyes as I write this article. Hey, Jeremiah, I’m willing to bet Elliot doesn’t like all White people or all White men either. Again, your question is cheap and frivolous.

Here’s the thing.

I’m a Black woman. And I don’t like all Black people either. 

I’m a decent, thinking human being. There’s no way in hell I’m wasting my likes on a low-value, drug-addled, irresponsible, festering crap-egg adult Black “man,” who knocks up a teenage girl. And then discards her and the baby with little or no thought. 

Black People, we can’t afford frivolous outcries

The truth is, if Black people want our cries for justice and equality to be taken seriously, we have to stop defending the bullsh*t of the low-value members in our collective. And we must never use frivolous racism cards.

Since 1865 — that’s 5.2 generations, as a country, we’ve been at “war” against systemic racism. War depletes. War is psychologically traumatizing. War leaves us feeling powerless. This is true for Black and White people alike. And unfortunately, there’s no indication as to when this “war” against inequality and injustice will be won and done.

But if we’re to go the distance with integrity and focused purpose, we have to hold the low-value members of our collective accountable. Wrong is wrong. And we should never yank out a frivolous “racism card” to defend low-value conduct. Else, one day, White People may become even more uninterested and uncaring to our legitimate cries of racism.

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Black People, let’s cease undermining ourselves. Frivolity should find no shelter in the movement against systemic racism. Yes, it’s important to acknowledge that racism “colors” every single corner of life in the United States; however, sometimes, even when the opposing players are Black or White — it ain’t about black or white.

If it’s a cheap, frivolous cry of racism, just don’t go there. Period.

So, even if our first thought is to cry racism, our second thought should be “Is this a legitimate and consequential cry of racism that advances our cause? Or, is this a cheap, frivolous distraction that serves few or none?”

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P.S. I will *never* understand how any female — Black, White, or otherwise — can be seduced to part her legs for a “man” who refers to himself as “her street n****r.”