I loathe, detest, abhor, hate, despise this question: “What do you do?” And I always have!
In fact, unless you are a creative whose art spills forth from your soul; someone with a large heart trying to feed the hungry or make a small corner of our planet a kinder, gentler place; or a scientist searching for the cure for cancer, I could not give two rats’ behinds “what you do!”
Seriously, do we really need to discuss the finer points of life in a blah, gray cubicle or corner office, pushing paper from file cabinet to desk and back again?!
Er, I think not!
I’ve never placed any stock in career or job choice as symbolic of our ultimate value.
Truth is, for the greater majority of us, work is simply a way for us to finance this life — that is, food, shelter, health care, and our chosen distractions!
What?! You’re not a doctor, lawyer, or Indian chief!
So this question has always left me feeling inadequate, because I know it’s almost always about valuing and devaluing and/or boxing me into a corner and stamping a label on my forehead.
Moreover, I’ve always been flummoxed about how to respond to the tedious and uninspiring “what do you do” without seeming annoyed or evasive at best and hostile at worst.
It was only recently that I learned of one wise woman’s perfect response to what has to be the most insipid but loaded question in the history of civilization:
[Drum roll, please!]
“Whatever it takes.”
I like to imagine that behind this very short response is this essential message:
In other words, my value is in no way limited to a subjective job title. I am a multi dimensional human being. What’s in my mind and in my heart is my real story and where my authentic value is derived. Now, with that said, is there a more substantial question you want to ask?
Over to you: Do you have a more substantial question to replace “what do you do?” What has been your experience — positive or negative — with this question?
Thank you for addressing this subject: “What do you do?” I wince every time some one asks me this question. I always get the feeling that they are trying to put me into a box to determine if I am worthy to associate with them. I am multi dimensional! I eat, I sleep, I exercise. I am a mother, and I go to a job that I hate every day because this job allows me to pay ALL my bills.
So when I am asked, “What do you do?” Yes, I do whatever it takes to enable me to survive and live in this miserable world.
Yep. This is what most of us do. And guess what? Even though we are not a doctors, lawyers or Indian chiefs, we are worthy. So to all those who think this is a conversation starter, STOP, please. Thank you!
Amen! It really doesn’t matter what we do. We are all needed to complete this circle that we call life.
“We are all need to complete this circle that we call life” is so poetic. Love that!
I love your questions! They are excellent! Glad you will find some use for “whatever it takes!”