IT DOESN’T MATTER. Whatever you think matters–doesn’t. Follow this rule, and it will add decades to your life. It does not matter if you are late, or early; if you are here, or if you are there; if you said it, or did not say it; if you were clever, or if you were stupid; if you are having a bad hair day, or a no hair day; if your boss looks at you cockeyed; if your girlfriend or boyfriend looks at you cockeyed; if you are cockeyed; if you don’t get that promotion, or prize, or house, or if you do. It doesn’t matter. (Rule 1) ~ ROGER ROSENBLATT, Rules For Aging
Okay, I am just gonna fess up right now! Since my very first memory of myself, I have been neck-deep in my awareness, my feelings, and my reactions.
I take things seriously. I care deeply. I feel things passionately. I believe intensely.
And to what end?!
Maybe I treated my body like a temple and I got chronic illnesses anyway…
Maybe I invested almost two decades in a friendship and she just tossed it away like a Dixie cup anyway…
Maybe I handed the best parts of me over to him and he love bombed, devalued and discarded me anyway…
Maybe I was qualified for that position and they gave the opportunity to someone less qualified anyway…
Maybe I am really a beautiful butterfly having a really bad dream…
Maybe all that happened and more over the years, but here I sit still, living and writing this post.
Oh, how I have raged against the shock, the pain, the disappointment, the harsh realities.
And, oh, how I have plotted to be good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, enough…
But I am glad to say that I am over and done with all that now.
I wish I could say that this change in my way to be is solely the result of my becoming wiser from experience and better with age. There is some of that to be sure.
BUT, honestly, I am absolutely and positively bone weary from the futile melodrama of worry and the delusion of control.
Yes, I still believe in doing my best, being my best, living by my professed values, and not settling for any nonsense… But I have a more serene, muted perspective now.
I’m not mad. I’m not sad. I’m just done.
I have finally embraced with my whole heart a very hard truth: Life is not concerned with me — or you. Yes, you too. (Please, do not shoot me.)
She just goes merrily, merrily on her way doing whatever the hell she feels like doing whenever and however she likes, regardless of how much it pains us.
And when most things are considered side by side with the vastness of our Universe and the certainty of our oblivion, what is the point of being so furious, so grieved, and so frantic?!
So lately, when Life is insensitive, narcissistic, downright stupid, and completely insane as she is often guaranteed to be, I stop and remind myself: It does not matter.
And almost instantly, my panties get untwisted, my mind goes still, my
racing galloping heart slows to a trot, and my sweaty armpits begin to feel a cool breeze…
Call to action: What about you? Are you still in the ring, getting boxed around and knocked down by Life? Or, have you discovered a way to peacefully co-exist with her, ringside?